To become extraordinary in life.

By definition, it’s something that requires a high degree of personal well-being in addition to an abundance of long term successes. Those who reach these milestones to any degree often fight long and hard to level up and succeed in life. 

It’s a road many venture to, but few achieve. 

But in both our professional or personal lives, it’s easy to get thrown into a constant state of unbalance.  There are so many distractions competing for our attention. And unlike ever before, people are working during every waking moment of the day - and even the night - often ignoring household responsibilities or their children, to answer emails, texts, social messages, and phone calls. Even weekends are becoming workdays.

The challenge is that increasing demands not only can lead to unbalance in life, but longer and longer work hours coupled with extended periods of high productive output results in more work and less sleep. 

It can feel like the balance in the work-life equation is fleeting. 

So often, we’re driven by the desire for ‘more’ that we lose focus and forget to balance our success at work with equal success  in our relationships, health, and enjoyment of life.

Today, even people working from home question how to balance it all. With telecommuting being “a new normal”, many professionals are having to figure out how to multitask at home.  Although the commute may be easier, the need to somehow manage the kids remote school with their busy work schedules is more demanding and stressful than going in to the office.

Would you like some guidance and inspiration to accelerate your success and bring balance to your life? Check out my GOAL SETTING MASTERY guide. 

When most people start to feel a sense of imbalance in their lives it is likely due to one are of their life that is demanding greater focus than it previously did.

Common examples include growing parental responsibilities, spousal difficulties, our finances, and as we age, the support needs of our aging parents.  

The outcome, of course, is not surprising. 

After years of hustling and grinding, high achievers who find ways to push through the burnout in the short term are eventually left feeling tired, depressed and lethargic. Personal relationships, health, and careers become increasingly stressed, and as they begin to demand more of our attention, they cause a shift in the work-life equilibrium and adds stress everywhere else.

According to an article from Medical News Today, studies show that a poor work-life balance in midlife may have negative consequences decades later, leading to adverse effects on cardiovascular and mental health.

Not only are there long term consequences, but there are immediate ones as well. Most common is to fall out of balance with the other areas of life that we deem important. It can begin to affect our productivity at work and threaten our short-term mental health and emotional well-being. 

That is, unless some kind of life balance isn’t reached. 

There are a few reasons why people struggle to find a healthy work-life balance. For some, it’s because they simply don’t know how to achieve balance in life. Instead, they just grind through day-to-day, until at some point they have to stop, hopefully by choice. They question why they have plateaued and lost their passion. 

Others have simply lost their way. They’re the high achievers who know how to create work-life balance, but for whatever reason, they have fallen out of kilter and have become less intentional with their choices and actions.  

Regardless of whether you do or don’t know how to achieve a work-life balance, if you aren’t actively and consistently measuring the critical areas of your life, then you can’t possibly know how in our out of balance your life really is. Measuring your progress, or lack thereof, will help you to keep a realistic perspective about the balance you currently have, and where in life you can adjust it to bring it back into a state of equilibrium that you’re happy with. 

But getting there requires a high degree of clarity about what is most important to you.  Only then will you be properly equipped to make difficult decisions related to your relationships, health, career, and finances.

In this article I will look at 5 areas of life that, when optimized, can help you to discover a genuine balance in your life. Sometimes, just looking at the larger picture of our life can help us to discover a new perspective and lead us to feel more like we are more in control.  

Understand that they are not meant for you to be judgmental with yourself,  or to raise criticisms about your past or current life choices. Rather, use them to consider how you might optimize each aspect of your life in new and exciting ways.

The rewards of achieving a work-life balance include greater peace of mind, strengthened relationships, and lower levels of stress, all while maintaining a high degree of productive output, increased health and success over the long run. 

Relationships

Relationships are at the core of our lives. Relationships help us in business, the marketplace, our families, and our friendships. If we want to achieve a sense of balance in our lives, we should pay close attention to our relationships.

Of course, different relationships in our lives require our attention and care in different ways. Parental responsibilities require a different kind of commitment than that required for a spouse or an aging parent.

When there are issues in any of these personal relationships that constantly require special attention, this can sap the energy from our other commitments and relationships.

The goal is to find a balance.

In this exercise, consider if any of the following suggestions might help lead you to achieve greater work-life balance in your relationships:

1. Be mindful of your capabilities when adding responsibilities. Acknowledge when certain relationships in your life require special attention to deal with an issue or concern. Trying to treat everything as normal, when it isn’t, will catch up with you at one point or another.

For example, if your teenager requires your special attention to deal with an urgent issue, it may be a bad time to take on added responsibilities at work and volunteer as a baseball coach. If you can postpone added duties or projects, try to do so.

Attempting to be all things to all people can lead to imbalance and exhaustion.

2. Communication is critical. Maintain clear lines of communication between you and the people in your important relationships.

Communicate with your personal relationships (your spouse, children, or close friends) to let them know when you have added responsibilities or challenges at work, so they’ll better understand the reasons behind your inaccessibility at certain times. Miscommunication and misperceptions about behaviors can cause unnecessary (and avoidable!) stress and conflict that can ultimately dissolve everything you have worked to achieve, including your other social and personal relationships, in addition to your health, career, finances and growth.

A point to remember: Understand that certain relationships go dormant or evaporate over time due to life circumstances. Divorced friends often fall out of touch with married friends. Those with children often find less in common with their single friends.

Trying to salvage these relationships can be exhausting, especially if

both people involved don’t have the same interest in saving it. It takes two to be in a solid relationship, not one.

3. Learn how to compromise. This can be difficult, especially if you feel like you’re “giving in,” but this skill will be useful in keeping the stress levels down in your life.

For example, if your boss wants you to work the weekend, ask instead if you can do the work from home in the evenings. In many work situations it doesn’t matter how or where the work is done so long as it meets the deadline.

Compromising with your spouse and children will show them that you hear what they’re saying, and you’re willing to come to a fair solution.

Body and Health

One of the ways we might discover that our lifestyle needs balance is through our bodies.

Many believe our bodies have ways of alerting us to the need for positive lifestyle changes. Headaches, fatigue, sleeplessness, and irritability could all be signs that changes need to be made in our personal or professional lives.

These physical signs often start off small, but over time, if we don’t make the necessary changes, the problems could continue to grow, thus causing permanent physical harm or damage.

Experts agree that serious illnesses can result from the unfortunate combination of mental stress, poor diet, and a heavy workload. The good news is that all of these factors are within your control to change!

• You are in charge of your reaction to stress. 
• You are in charge of what you put into your body for food. 
• You are in charge of how you choose to think.

Extensive hours at work, too little exercise, or intense strain in your personal relationships can all serve to make you feel unwell.

The goal, of course, is to find a balance. In this exercise, consider if any of the following suggestions might help lead you to achieve greater work-life balance in your health:

1. Get moving. Even 10-minute intervals of exercise can relieve stress and help clear your mind. Choose two or three times a day when you can spare 10 minutes to walk, get some fresh air, or do some yoga stretches.

The pomodoro model is one to check out if you haven’t already. I briefly talked about it in another blog that you can find.

2. Eliminate caffeine. We all know caffeine is the jolt in our coffee that wakes us up in the morning, but it can also cause headaches, anxiety, and insomnia. Avoid having caffeine after 3 pm or later in the day, and try to limit your morning coffee intake to 2-3 cups and avoid the jitters.

3. Get enough sleep. Set a bedtime for yourself and stick to it. Routine is key for all high performance, and your sleep is one of the cornerstones to long term success. 

So turn off the TV (permanently remove it from the bedroom), do some deep muscle stretches, and relish the quiet of your bedroom.

It may take some time to get used to, but your body will thank you for it in the morning.

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4. Eat dinner as a family. This is a perfect time to shut off the TV, put down your phone and mobile devices, and just focus on talking with your family members about their day.

This is the time to connect with your kids and family. They can discover more about what you do for a living, and you’ll also get a heads-up if your spouse needs more of your time later in the evening to talk.

The best step you can take to protect your health is to pay attention to your body’s signals. If you ignore them, it may be at your own peril. When you achieve a healthy balance between work and your personal life, your sense of well-being also improves.

Career

Many people define themselves in terms of their career.

“What do you do?” is a common conversation starter, and most often, the question is referring to someone’s career or profession, not their personal interests and hobbies.

The quest to present a successful life to the outside world has led many people to put most of their mental and emotional energy into their professional life.

Trying to live “like the Joneses” has cost people millions, which in turn causes additional stress and turns the family life into turmoil as the family tries to dig themselves out. This is an example of a tremendous imbalance in life, as there will be very little left to dedicate to one’s personal relationships.

Complete physical and mental exhaustion is another negative outcome from putting too much of yourself into your job. In that never-ending quest for more money, workers give their heart and souls to their jobs, only to be passed over for promotion, or worse, laid off.

Yes, we all want and need to provide for our families, but at what cost? Be sure to focus plenty of energy on your personal relationships because those will last a lifetime longer than your current work relationship.

To perform your best in your career, you need to feel healthy in body and mind. Maintaining a balance in your professional and personal life will contribute to that outcome.

The goal, of course, is to find a balance. In this exercise, consider if any of the following suggestions might help lead you to achieve greater work-life balance in your professional life:

1. Limit work hours. Leave work at a designated hour and try to include recreational or exercise activities in your routine.  If you’re a workaholic, it won’t be enough to say you’ll try to work less; you’ll need to make a concerted effort to balance your hours more reasonably.

Remember, hours at home versus at work is not the issue. It’s more about feeling connected with your loved ones and being present in the moment (see #2)

2. Turn off the cell phone and laptop after hours. Unless you’re a doctor on call, let your voicemail pick up any messages while you relax at home.

Create this boundary and keep it as one of your non-negotiables.  You and your family will thank you for it later.

3. Pick one day a week as your day of rest. Traditionally, this is Sunday, but it can be any day of the week if you work a nontraditional schedule. 

Take this day to focus on you and your family. Do something fun and enjoy yourself!

This means the computer, cell phones, and even the TV stay turned off – if you dare! (see #2)

RELATED ARTICLE | Sharpen Your Axe: 3 Ways to Ignite Your Energy and Avoid Feeling Drained, Exhausted and Burnt-out

Engaging in a balanced workday and incorporating healthy activities will increase your enjoyment and satisfaction in both your career and personal lives. Very often you’ll find a renewed energy and love of life that you had forgotten even existed! 

And you’ll have some great stories to share with your family and friends.

Finances

Financial stress is probably one of the greatest stressors in life today. In this credit-obsessed society, many people spend what they don’t have in order to keep up with the high level of consumption that has shaped our culture in recent decades.

Balancing your personal financial budget is extremely important. Making a conscious decision to live within your means is the first step, of course, but the next important step is to find other ways to seek satisfaction in your daily life.

Unnecessary purchases and eating out with excessive frequency may be signs that something else is missing in your life. What voids are you trying to fill with all these purchases?

Think about the money you’ll save by choosing more frugal and personally satisfying activities. Set a goal for a monetary amount you can save by a certain date. Once you achieve that goal, repeat it or, if possible, increase the goal over the next few months.

Invest the difference.

The goal, of course, is to find a balance. In this exercise, consider if any of the following suggestions might help lead you to achieve greater work-life balance in your financial life:

1. Balance your finances each month. While this may seem trite and old-fashioned in today’s internet world, but you still need to know and understand just how much money you spend compared to how much you earn. 

Treat your personal finances like a business!

Looking at each expenditure, as opposed to just glancing at the current balance, will help you understand your spending habits.

Some financial experts suggest that you pay with cash for everything. Psychologically, spending the cash has a different effect on your psyche than does using a credit or debit card. 

Of course, if you pay by debit card, be smart and take advantage of points, cash back and miles. Every trip I have been on with my wife over the last decade has come off points from credit cards. That’s airfare and in some cases hotel stays, too.

The point is to ask yourself before each purchase if it’s something you need or something you want. Then determine and if the cash for the purchase could be better put to use elsewhere, and make your decision from there. 

RELATED ARTICLE | 5 Mistakes People and Business Owners Make When Setting Goals

2. Balance eating meals at home with eating out. Depending on where you live, a family of four can easily spend $50+ for dinner out at a casual restaurant. And that doesn’t include appetizers, beverages, or dessert. Save that $50+ by preparing your favorite restaurant dishes at home and invest the savings in the children’s Roth IRA or college fund.

3. Create a budget for each bucket in life. This goes together with balancing your checkbook. Make a list of each and every spending bucket that you have. Home, food, social events, vacation, auto, boat, gifts & contributions, retirement, emergency, etc. are a few “buckets” to consider allotting your capital. Regularly review and trim household cost and trim expenses where you can. Lowering your cable package or canceling an extra phone can be done with a simple call. Cancelling subscriptions you don’t use anymore is smart as well.  

Realizing that you can save money and still achieve satisfaction in the way you live will help you to better manage your finances and achieve a happier balance in your life.

Personal and Spiritual Growth

Personal and spiritual growth means different things for different people. Most will still agree that people are spiritual beings and that the spiritual component of who we are needs to be satisfied and nourished like other aspects of our being.

The goal is to find a balance.

In this exercise, consider if any of the following suggestions might help lead you to achieve greater work-life balance in your spiritual life:

We experience personal growth when we learn what our potential is for success and happiness, and at the same time, what our limits are in reaching for that potential.

Personal growth occurs with time, effort, and a willingness to adapt. Having supportive people in our relationships can also help us to grow personally.

When we feel spiritually drained, it’s a sign that there is some personal growth that needs to take place. It’s hard to get through serious challenges in life – whether its professional challenges or personal tribulations – when you’re already suffering on the inside.

When we understand our spiritual connection to our Creator, as well as those around us, we become inspired and encouraged. That new perspective can give us clearer insight into the issues before us and the steps we can take to adopt a more balanced approach to dealing with them.

A centered, spiritual focus can also inspire us to do more for those around us and help us focus less on the shortcomings and frustrations in our lives. In becoming more caring people, we become more than just a workaholic or someone’s sibling—we become part of a spiritual community that gives us strength.

Taking the time to reflect on your life is an important part of your development and growth. This is a necessary ingredient to achieve peace and balance in your life.

Conclusion

Life in the 21st century can be so complicated and fast-paced that it’s no wonder so many people are struggling to achieve balance in their lives.

The bad news is that you will always feel out of balance if your doing work that you are not passionate or isn’t aligned with your life’s purpose. 

The good news is balance is achievable. 

Remember, hours at work and don’t necessarily need to be equal to be in balance. It’s more about the feelings you have and your presence of being that can truly bring you a sense of equilibrium. 

When you’re feeling out of balance:

• Recognize when there’s a problem
• Communicate your issues and challenges to the people who comprise your most important relationships – both professionally and personally
• Pay attention to the health signals your body gives you, especially when you aren’t following optimal healthy routines
• Make a concerted effort to curb your workaholic ways
• Spend within your means and take control of your finances
• Take time to nourish your personal and spiritual growth needs

Following these strategies can bring peace and harmony to your life and enable you to enjoy it to the fullest!

Would you like some guidance and inspiration to create or update your bucket list?

If you would like some additional guidance and inspiration in creating or updating your bucket list, check out my ULTIMATE LIFE BUCKET LIST WORKBOOK.  It's  a complete, step-by-step professional workbook designed to help you to plan and prepare for new adventures and get impressive results.

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Damien Vanderburg is a certified high performance coach with a focus on personal development, high price-point sales and serial entrepreneurship. With more than 20 years experience teaching, training and developing high performers, Damien helps those who want to transform effectiveness, maximize potential and accelerate results. He is also the co-founder of Counterpoint Test Prep, a test prep and college app consulting company. 

Go to www.damienvanderburg.com and learn more.